What My Cat Taught Me About Cleaning

Not only can your cat be your Zen master, your comic foil, and best snuggle friend, they can also teach you a thing or two about cleaning. Everyone always says they’re so much cleaner than dogs, and I think this is true. Cats may seem lazy, but they’re also task masters. Bow to the feline wisdom your cat is trying to impart.

1. Dust behind the furniture. Has your cat ever been behind the couch or under the end table, only to emerge covered in cobwebs and dust bunnies? This is particularly alarming when guests are over. Thanks for shaming me, Miss Kitty! I guess I “missed” a spot or two.
2. My house looks better when the elevated surfaces are clear. Your cat has been trying to tell you this to no avail. Perched on a shelf, the top of the fridge, your desk, etc., your cat will make you painfully aware of your surface clutter. Make a visual “decluttering” sweep of the house each evening before turning in. If you don’t, your cat may censure you with a crashing reminder in the middle of the night. Be like Kitty. Keep it minimalistic.
3. Doing the laundry can warm you. Who needs laundry that smells like “Summer Meadow” or “Spring Rain” when it can be covered in cat hair instead? Cat’s love to perch on fresh-from-the-dryer laundry. To avoid this inevitably hairy situation, claim that heat for yourself and get the laundry folded right away.
4. Pick things up from the floor right away. Drop it on the floor, and it may be lost forever. Anything that drops on the floor is at the mercy of your cat’s mercurial moods. Milk jug ring, favorite pen, snack wrapper, hair tie? Unless you pick them up right away, they may be lost forever — somewhere in the same realm as lost dryer socks. But alas, refer to item #1 and you will likely find a treasure trove of lost relics. This excludes anything you carefully and lovingly place on the floor for you for Mr Kitty, such as high-end cat bed, expensive catnip toys, etc. Who is the servant here anyway??
5. Straighten up often. Sr Kitty Cat just finished tearing around the room so quickly he moved rugs and toppled furniture. If you’re a cat owner, you’re familiar with this feline sport. Are you a knitter? Watch out! – Sr Kitty may grab the yarn and run around the room, leaving a tangled trail to follow. Thanks to Sr Kitty, you’ll spend hours straightening up while he naps it off.
6. Keep pathways clear for safety. Try as you might, humans are no match for feline wiles. Ms Kitty will wind around your ankles, step in front your next step, or position herself on the shadowy part of the stairs. If you’re carrying something in both hands, beware. She may go in hard and fast. This is doubly true when you come in with groceries. Once you’ve fallen down and spilled whatever your arms were carrying, Ms Kitty will help you be either sprawling out in the mess, or batting objects to the four corners of the room. Bonus for Ms Kitty is the empty paper bag, which can make for hours of fun.
7. Clean litter box often. Lil Kitty may show displeasure if you don’t clean the cat box fast or often enough. Chop chop, human! If you neglect your duties of feline servitude, you may find an unpleasant treatment in a dark corner, perhaps the shoes in your closet. Ugh. Lil Kitty will act all innocent, eyes communicating no remorse whatsoever. As it end up, Lil Kitty trains you, not the other way
8. Pre-wash. Kitty cat will be happy to help pre-wash the dishes — whatever they had on them. That said, even if you generously participate in the pre-washing, remember that forbidden food is the best food, so don’t turn your back.
9. Making the bed is easier with a helper. HRH Kitty Duchess of Curiosity is likely to jump up on the bed just as you are about to attempt spreading the fitted sheet. Apparently, HRH thinks this is a game designed especially for them. Another clever move is when they plant themselves in the middle of the empty mattress, posing from side-to-side and refuse to vacate the premises. When you finally do shush them off, they act so confused, as if this was all for them in the first place. So much for a helper!
10. Be prepared for anything. There’s nothing like hearing the sound of Sir Alley Cat about to hock up a puddle or hairball onto the carpet. Make haste to remove the cat from soiling whatever fine thing they’re about to soil — cuz’ it’s always the good stuff.  Beware of a potential chase, as this can result in a puke-on the-run situation. Keep the tissues, wet wipes, and pet stain spray handy. After all, humans only exist to clean up after cats, right?
11. Push in the chairs. Not only does this ensure a clean and tidy space, but it also reduces the number of jumping off points for P Kitty. Chairs can be a handy midpoint between the floor and the forbidden tabletop. P Kitty assumes cat hair belongs everywhere. You may not share his values.
12. Clean under the appliances. Because Ki Kat loves to bat objects around the kitchen, they often end up lodged under the stove or fridge. Fishing them out can be frustrating. Moving the appliances is the best way to reclaim lost objects. That said, we all know the feeling of fear for what state of affairs we may discover under and alongside our appliances — the stove in particular. That said, venture on bravely, and clean behind them. Your appliances will work more efficiently, and you’ll benefit from a reduced fire hazard by keeping them clean. 

What has your cat taught you about cleaning? Share your answers with us on social media!